my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
