I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
