Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you traded sex for a burrito?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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