don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
