Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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