She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
