Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
