Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
