White coat. Heels.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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