they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
there is glitter all over my balls
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