How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
pray to the hookup gods
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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