Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
