Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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