kristin has been a bad kristin
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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