Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
