I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
