Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Michael Bay diarrhea
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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