erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
