I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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