You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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