It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
