soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
