Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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