I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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