After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
