in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
