Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
