so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
