at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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