Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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