your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
