I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
