im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize