porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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