i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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