Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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