somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
