Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
