i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
