I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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