We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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