Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
