it hurts more in the daytime
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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