he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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