I don't remember. Are we still dating?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
