Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
