then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
