you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
