dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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