Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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