Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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