yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
