Nicole vs. Life
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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