it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
