I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
