It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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