There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
