Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
