I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
