My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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