At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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