Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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