i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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