Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
