So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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