we're blogging at a bar
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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