No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
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You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.