What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?