Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.