I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.