non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.