Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there